Torrents of Greed

A few random musings …

MGM Mirage CEO Jim Murren can wax eloquent on the subject of sustainable development but I suspect that any pensées he might have offered Dubai World on the subject would have been pearls before swine. Dubai World prides itself on the unsustainability of its growth. In the course of doing some Dubai-related research last weekend, one vignette stands out from all the others. It’s another instance of how the sheikdom resembles a psychotic version of Las Vegas.

The emirate has grown so much faster than its infrastructure that sewage trucks literally have to queue up for days on end at the reprocessing plant. In their frustration, truckers have been known to pry open manhole covers and pour their putrid cargo straight into the Persian Gulf. Since Dubai has no freshwater sources of its own, all its irrigation and potable water have to drawn from — you guessed it — the Persian Gulf via desalinization plants. Which means that Tiger Woods‘ golf course is watered with … well, you get the picture.

On the subject of Mr. Woods, perhaps the only truly interesting revelation from his saga of douchebaggery is the disclosure that he’s a tightwad. Which, come to think of it, would go hand in glove with his affect-less demeanor. Not only does Vegas happen to be Young Eldrick’s favored hunting ground, it’s also a tipocracy propelled by whose palm gets greased and how liberally (especially the nightclub scene which was Young Eldrick’s preferred haunt). If Woods was stiffing the cocktail servers — monetarily, I mean — could that be what came back to bite him in the tuchus?

Although the Woods story is becoming a tale of, “What happens here cost me a bunch of endorsements,” S&G spies a marketing opportunity amidst the gloom. With Criss Angel keeping a very low profile these days, the throne of the Strip’s Douchebag-in-Chief is currently vacant. Young Eldrick could reinvent himself as Vegas’ club lizard par excellence, his every move breathlessly chronicled by Robin Leach. And who needs Tag Heuer when you could sport TapouT watches and stylishly attire yourself in Ed Hardy duds, perhaps endorse some downmarket energy drink? You know that old cliché about the Chinese character for “crisis” and “opportunity” being the same thing (which sounds like something a motivational speaker made up, but never mind)? This may be the classic case in point.

Reap those hotel bargains, while yet you may. A survey released this morning by J.P. Morgan Research shows Strip room rates continuing to dive in January but then generally trending upward through the end of March. Except for Harrah’s Entertainment, that is. The 1Q10 trend there bodes ill. But if this were an episode of The Biggest Loser, the top spot might go to Excalibur, which — among the 25-plus hotels surveyed — finds itself at the bottom of the bargain bin, below even Circus Circus and two spots beneath the Tropicana. Our condolences to the castle and our congratulations to the Trop.

I’m taking requests. Except for the extraordinary show put on by Garth Brooks, I’m undecided as to what my next batch of reviews for WizardOfVegas.com should cover. Which shows would you like to read about? If’s not something that I’ve already critiqued for either WoZ WoV or CityLife, I’ll put it on the list. But, no I’m not going back to hear Wayne Newton again. Once was quite enough.